Melissa Fulgieri, LCSW New York Therapist, Author, Educator

So much of who we become is shaped by the relationships we have with others.

Long before we have the language to understand ourselves, we're learning what it takes to be loved, accepted, and safe. We learn which emotions are welcome, which needs are too much, and which parts of ourselves we might have to hide to maintain connection. Over time, these lessons become so familiar that we mistake them for who we are.

We become adults who struggle to set boundaries, who feel responsible for other people's emotions, who find ourselves repeating the same relationship patterns despite knowing better. We might be successful, self-aware, and deeply thoughtful people who still feel anxious, disconnected, unfulfilled, or uncertain about what we actually want.

And sometimes, understanding why we are the way we are isn't enough to change it.

I believe that healing happens when we begin to understand not only the stories we've inherited, but how those stories continue to live in our minds, bodies, and relationships.

My mission is to help people recognize the patterns that no longer serve them, develop compassion for the ways they've learned to survive, and create more intentional ways of relating to themselves and others.

As a feminist and relational therapist, I'm interested in the intersection of our personal histories and the larger systems that shape our lives. Gender expectations, family dynamics, cultural narratives, attachment experiences, and trauma all influence what we believe we deserve, how we communicate our needs, and what we come to expect from love.

I work with individuals, couples and families who want to understand themselves more deeply, heal from painful experiences, and build relationships that feel more honest, secure, and fulfilling.

Sometimes that means processing experiences we've spent years trying to move past. Sometimes it means learning how to tolerate difficult emotions, communicate differently with a partner, or stop abandoning ourselves to keep the peace. And sometimes it means questioning the very ideas we've held about who we're supposed to be.

Ultimately, I want to help people move beyond simply understanding themselves toward experiencing meaningful change in how they live, love, and connect.

Because I believe we all deserve relationships, including the one we have with ourselves, in which we don't have to disappear to belong.

HOW I GOT STARTED

I came to this work through my own experience of healing.

I began therapy at 19, long before I understood how deeply our earliest relationships shape our sense of self and the ways we connect with others. What began as an effort to understand my own anxiety, depression, and relational experiences eventually became a much larger curiosity about what it means to be human.

Over time, I learned that healing wasn't simply about identifying what had happened to me or understanding why I felt the way I did. It was about developing a different relationship with myself. Learning to recognize my emotions and needs without judgment. Making room for the parts of myself I had learned to criticize or conceal. Building the self-trust to make choices that reflected my values rather than my fears.

That curiosity eventually became my life's work.

Today, as a therapist, author, and educator, I continue to be fascinated by the ways our experiences shape us, the extraordinary capacity we have to adapt, and the possibility of changing patterns that once felt inevitable.

I don't believe therapy is about becoming an entirely different person. I believe it's about developing the awareness, compassion, and courage to live more fully as the person you already are.

I can't imagine more meaningful work than helping others discover what that looks like for them.

My therapeutic style is active, collaborative, and grounded in genuine connection. I believe the relationship we build together is an important part of the healing process. During sessions, I'm supportively direct: offering warmth, curiosity, and validation while also helping you recognize patterns that may be keeping you stuck. My clients often describe me as nonjudgmental, down-to-earth, and someone who isn't afraid to ask the difficult questions.

What Will This Look Like?

Therapy with me feels like having a conversation with someone who genuinely wants to understand you, without judgment or expectations about who you should be. But that doesn't mean we'll shy away from the hard stuff.

Together, we'll get curious about the patterns that show up in your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. We'll explore where those patterns came from, how they may have once helped you navigate difficult experiences, and whether they're still serving you today.

Sometimes our work will involve making connections between your past and present. Other times, we'll focus on what you're experiencing in the moment, including emotions that are difficult to access, tolerate, or express. And sometimes, understanding a pattern isn't enough. That's where we'll work on creating change, not just intellectually, but emotionally and behaviorally, too.

Throughout this process, I'll help you develop greater self-compassion, emotional awareness, and trust in your ability to navigate life's inevitable challenges. My goal isn't to tell you who to become, but to help you feel more connected to yourself and more intentional in how you relate to others.

I know that beginning therapy can feel vulnerable, especially if you've spent years trying to figure things out on your own. You don't have to have all the answers before we begin. We'll figure out where to start together.

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EDUCATION & TRAINING

• Silberman School of Social Work at Hunter School, Masters Degree
  New York University, Bachelors Degree in Applied Psychology 

• Trained in Functional Family Therapy, Hakomi Method, Trauma-Focused CBT, Emotionally Focused Therapy, EMDR, and Gottman Method for PTSD and Betrayal Trauma

• Licensed Clinical Social Worker, New York and New Jersey

  New York License Number: 085652

  New Jersey License: 44SC05998400

  NPI 1144641820

• Adjunct Professor at Fordham University and Long Island University
  Classes taught: Social Work Skills Lab, Child and Adolescent Trauma, Couples Counseling, Suicide Assessment and Treatment, Advanced Clinical Practice, Psychopathology, Family Therapy