Operating from Abundance vs. Scarcity Mindset
Why operating from abundance makes us happier and more open to growth.
The connection between healing and operating from an abundance vs scarcity mindset.
I saw a post on Instagram from one of my favorite handles, @psychotherapymemes by Nicole Arzt, LMFT.
It said: “Good morning to everyone except life coaches pretending to be therapists.”
As per usual, this single meme gave me a lot to think about.
Therapists sometimes hate on life coaches and, in some senses, I get it.
I get the frustration when folks operate outside their scope and training.
I get the frustration when folks market themselves dishonestly.
(And…there are many therapists that do this as well. 😬 TBH, what field doesn’t have folks operating outside their scope?)
And…
On the other hand, some of my most profound healing has happened outside the therapeutic space.
(If I had a marketing team, I can just hear them now going: “Ooooh, do you REALLY want to be saying this? You know…for “business?”)
That’s one of the hardest parts about being a therapist, I think. Therapists don’t always get to see the healing happen because it often happens in the quiet moments of our clients’ lives outside our 1 hour weekly session.
Sometimes, therapy plants a seed of awareness that only fully becomes realized when you’re laying in Shavasana and putting the pieces together in a peaceful moment of thought.
Sometimes, the awareness comes at a meditation that you stumbled upon at the perfect time in your life, after you’ve done some extensive work on yourself.
Some of my best ideas come to me in the shower when I cant do anything else but think.
Whatever works.
Abundance vs. Scarcity Mindset
What this meme really made me think about though is how helpful it has been for me to operate from a place of abundance, as well as my road to get there.
Just go with me for a second, we’re taking a slight detour.
Understanding the abundance vs scarcity mindset has profoundly shaped how I approach my work and life.
There have been times in my life where I operated from a place of scarcity: If I don’t get the thing, another will. If they get the thing, I won’t. I need to get the thing now or I will never get the thing.
Companies can and will often capitalize on a principle of scarcity by pitting people against each other. Promotions are rife with scarcity principle because, there are only so many promotions to go around. The higher you climb, the more cutthroat it becomes. Companies can and do exploit this in their work culture.
I worked at a company once who’s ethos was: “every day is an audition.”
That sentiment is true (the way we behave matters) AND a motto like that is perfect for promoting a culture of overworking, poor work-life balance boundaries and burnout.
How many of you have worked in companies where “first to arrive, last to leave” was an unwritten but normalized practice?
I haven’t had that experience personally but many professionals and entrepreneurs I work with have. Humans pick up on what is unsaid and observed as much as, if not more than, what is said. If a boss stays in the office after 6, the team will too, regardless of how many self-care trainings are offered touting the benefits of boundaries and balance.
I saw this constantly happen during the COVID years. Maybe the boss said you could work from home, but you also noticed her coming into the office every day. Others followed what she did, not what she said and so, there you are now too, back to commuting along side them. Ugh.
Fear of scarcity comes out all the time in therapy sessions.
Why does she have what I want? Why not me?
My answer is usually: there’s more than enough to go around.
What would it be like to internalize that belief and operate from that place instead? Or, what would it be like to see what someone has, what you desperately want, and go out and get it for yourself as well? What would you need to do that? This shift from an abundance vs scarcity mindset can be transformative in therapy.
Anyhoo, I digress.
What does this have to do with life coaches and therapists?
Ok, here it is:
When I operate from a principle of abundance vs scarcity mindset, meaning, believing there is more than enough opportunity to go around, I am happier, healthier, better at my job and more fulfilled in my relationships.
I don’t mind that others seek out life coaches because I know there are more than enough people in this world that will be a good fit for me and I for them.
I also don’t want to poo-poo where you find your healing and I’m not so naive (…not sure if its naïveté or something else, fear? insulation? DM me if you have a hypothesis) to think that one can only heal from therapy.
Healing can come in all forms - therapy, psychiatry, spirituality, music, relationships, intimacy, safety, exercise, yoga, friendship, family, cooking, prayer and yes, life coaches.
Who am I to question where you get your healing?
One of my favorite mantras that I stole from my Social Work Skills Lab reading two weeks ago is: stay humble. Therapists become dangerous when they believe they are all-knowing, all-healing and can’t make mistakes.
Albert Einstein said, “the more I learn, the less I know.”
Do me a favor and, if you feel comfortable, get in touch with any lightbulb moments where you found your best healing. I’d love to know and I won’t share.
FWIW: this post is not meant as a critique of the @psychotherapymemes post. It’s one of my fav accounts AND as per usual, their post made me think about myself, my career and my journey in new ways. This piece has everything to do with me and my processing.
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